A man cannot be kept if he doesn't want to be kept !

Period ! You can do back flips on the D, cook his favorite food every single day and even finance his life and he still might leave ! Yo...

Tuesday, October 29, 2019

Don't Trip When an ex moves on !

Loud it for the people in the Back ! In fact let me say it again DON'T TRIP WHEN A EX MOVES ON ! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT OUR PARENTS TAUGHT US TO GIVE OUR USED TOYS TO THE LESS FORTUNATE! I hope you guys have got the message now. 

When a ex moves on, just be greatful to the Lord that somebody else has taken away your misery and its now on them to deal with ! If they want to have your used toys, then  let them have it ! Don't be mad, don't be sad, just be happy it's no longer your pain to bear. 

Nobody, I mean nobody should be mad over an ex moving on. They are your ex for a reason and once they are out of your life they should not have any type of effect on your life at all even when they decide to move on. 

In this current state i'm in, i swear i'll only budge if i hear my ex was dating some major celebrity and that's just a fact... Nothing my ex does at this moment in time can ever effect me because I'm over him and that is the way it needs to be. The moment you decided to make that person you ex is the moment you need to be able to cut off all emotions and move on with your life.

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Thursday, October 24, 2019

Dilemma Thursdays

Question "He follows and likes random chicks pics on social media. It makes me feel insecure"

Answer: Girl you need to drop his ass, period ! If he's making you feel insecure then he isn't for you. Another thing I will say is you need to work on yourself and level up on you confidence. Take some time out and focus on fully loving yourself to a point where nobody can make you feel insecure. Sometimes looking in a mirror every morning and saying pointing out all the things you love about yourself to your reflection really helps. 

Question: "If my lady don't do whatever I say in the bed room i get turnt off... Suck mydickputthetittiesontheshyt"

Answer: I can kind of understand this because everybody wants their partner to be able to please them the way they want to be pleased. All it takes is you talking to your partner and telling her where she needs to improve without being disrespectful. Make sure you take her feelings into consideration and ensure you talk to her like a human being and make her as comfortable as she can be ! 

Question: " I loved this nigga sooo much but he just kept me as a s friend and dumped me later on"

Answer: Sis, he doesn't respect you at all and you need to let him go ! He does not even deserve a little piece of you. Wait for the right guy to come along it just takes time and patience and let it be his loss. He's simply just blind and can't see what's infront of him and that's his problem, not yours ! Love yourself because nobody else can love you the way you can love yourself, period ! When you finally find the guy that you deserve, you honestly won't even think about this guy for one second, trust me boo.

Question: "Being BI AS HELL (some people can't process that)"

Answer: Be you unapologetically as long as you love yourself then nothing else matters and I mean NOTHING!  It really doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you, what matters is what you think about you ! They do not need to be able to process anything as long as you have processed it, period ! 

Question: "She is doing well with her life but I effing up with my life coz I wasted too much time on her"

Answer: You need to concentrate on you and forget about everything she is doing. You cannot allow what she's doing now to ruin what you have got going on. You deserve to give yourself the best and that's just that ! Take it as a learning process, you tried and it failed and that's okay ! Everybody tries and fails,you've just got to get back up and bounce back ... That time you wasted is gone, let it go, you can never get it back but what you can do is make sure that you make the time that's coming more valuable.  

Wednesday, October 23, 2019

A Real Man Will Remove Any Female That Threatens His Relationship !

No word of a lie has been told here ! A Real man will remove any female that threatens his relationship with the woman he loves whilst a boy will continuously make excuses. Know the difference between a Man and a Boy.

Ladies we have to stop dating these boys and start dating these men if we want to be in a relationship where we are respected. A boy will continuously disrespect you in a relationship whereas a man will treat you with the utmost respect and that's just facts !

Let's just be completely honest here, a real man would not even allow a female to threaten your relationship in the first damn place ! Deep that and let it sink in ! We have to stop with the mentality that all men cheat so if a man cheats we have to get over it and forgive him because it happens everywhere ! We have to start believing that there are real men out there who aren't here disrespecting their ladies and are not out here allowing another female to disrespect their lady !

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Thursday, October 17, 2019

Dilemma Thursday

Dilemma: " I have been going out with a guy (we've known each other for almost 3 years but we are on and off. 2 weeks he's so into me and out of the blue he's distant and it's not even the first time he does that "
Answer: The fact that you guys are on and off for almost 3 years is a sign that this relationship isn't healthy ! It's looking like a bad habit if i'm honest with you. I will advise that you let him go because it does not seem that he is treating you the way that you deserve. You definitely deserve more than this, you deserve someone who gives you stability and somebody who doesn't just have an on and off switch with your heart. If he loves you, trust me when I say he wouldn't treat you like this. Just find a way to let go and next time make sure you do not settle for less ! 

Dilemma: "Soo me and my girlfriend have been going threw rough 2 - 3 weeks cause we've been cheating"
Answer: If i understand this correctly, you've both been cheating? Well this doesn't sound healthy at all ! You need to both let go, this isn't worth it and both of you are obviously not as happy as you need to be if we are being honest ! If you need to cheat that means you're no longer in love with the person you are with ands it is that simple. You both deserve better than what you are giving each other ! 

Dilemma: "He seen me, and lurk my pages, n doesn't want to talk"
Answer: Loool this just sounds like a guy with no action, you don't need him sis ! If he does not have the balls to reach out to you or attempt to hit you up then he isn't  the one for you! Or maybe he just likes viewing your pictures, I don't know. But what i do know is if he doesn't approach you or say anything, nobody will know what it is! I mean if you're confident enough to ask him what's up, then do it sis, you have nothing to lose ! 

Dilemma: "Why do niggahs let they pride take over how they really feel n wanna block a bih"
Answer: Many guys have pride and it's all to do with their ego, it's nothing new. I know many guys who have let the women they love get away all due to stupid pride and I could never understand it. You've got to let him know that if he continues the way he is you're going to bounce without looking back ! Maybe that might wake him up ... Only God knows ! It's time you give him an ultimatum and if he still chooses his pride, then girl you've got to bounce, you deserve better than that ! 

Dilemma : "Why are women afraid to have a honest relationship with a real man"
Answer: Hmmmmm i wouldn't say this applies to all women but I do know of some that are afraid of this. I know that this is the case because some females are scared of heartbreak so that is why they prefer to hide things in order for them not to be vulnerable to be heartbroken. If you want a woman to be honest with you, you have to be honest with them, it's just that simple ! 

Tuesday, October 15, 2019

Don't expect her to play her part, when you have other females auditioning for her role

Say it louder for those in the back that don't seem to hear this ! It's just damn right disrespectful to ever expect a female to play the part you want her to play when you have other females auditioning for that exact role ! If you want a female to play a part in your life, you've got to cancel all other casting, this isn't a movie !

The worst thing to this is that some of you guys don't even let the girl know that other females are auditioning, us females have to find out the hard way. It's either we find out by some random ass female entering our dms or by being attacked by some female we have no idea even exists! It's got to stop guys, you've got to put more respect on our names !

It's about time that some guys stop having their cake and eating it too. Some guys need to learn the art of contentment. Find that one girl that can play all the roles you need and leave it like that. If she can't play all the parts, then teach her, don't go booking auditions so you can have more than one person playing the parts, it's unfair.

And Ladies, stop settling for guys who you know have more than one woman auditioning for roles in their lives, it's not worth it. You've got to really know your worth and know you're better than that and you're worth way more than that and if a guy cannot see that then he's not for you ! Point, blank, simple !

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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Dilemma Thursday

Dilemma: "He cheated and he wants me back"

Answer: Hmmm this is the tricky one... One part of me wants to tell you to bounce all the way out of that situation but one part of me wants to say maybe you can forgive him if he is worth it. I think it totally depends on how he cheated ! If he cheated once for the first time and he's apologetic and promises that it wont happen again, then maybe you forgive him if you really love him. But if he is a repeat offender, forget it! You cannot go back because he is just going to continue cheating and thats just the hard truth. Now if you decide to forgive him, don't forgive him straight away, make him suffer a little and then accept him back so he actually learns.... From my own experience, i believe once a cheater always a cheater and i am still yet to find or hear about a guy that does not cheat! But that's another story for another day

Dilemma: "She broke up with me out of nowhere telling me I contacted a female in reality on everything. I never did i never talked to another female at all then the next day I told her that's false info and she said that's fine we're done so in my head i'm like wtf and ever since then she blocked me on everything I kept messaging her telling her like we need to talk face to face about this but she denies me then i told her what i felt for her and all that but keep on blocking me and I been depressed sad etc.. because I was with her for 3 years and this happened now i'm like we need to talk face to face and solve all this because this is false information"

Answer: To be honest for her to react like this she must have some kind of evidence of you contacting a female. The only way you can calm her down is to find a way to prove to her that this is not the case. Stop apologising and just send her proof and then give her time to calm down and then approach her again. She needs space to just calm down and then she will most definitly come back to hear your side. If it is true love you guys will bounce back, i can assure you of that. Now if you did talk to another female and you're denying it to protect her feelings, you need to admit the truth as that is the only way you can resolve this fully. You have to be honest with her and she will respect it more, trust me on that. I hope it all works out for you.

Dilemma: "Seeking her mother's approval for everything"
Answer: This one is a tricky one to be honest ! I understand where she is coming from because i seek my mothers approval for everything too.. it's not a bad thing at all some people just love their mothers advise and it is what it is. It shouldn't have too much of an impact on your relationship unless you are doing something bad to be honest. Mothers protect their children and that's just that.  I just think you have to learn to come to terms with it to be honest especially if you are really into the girl.

Dilemma: "Don't drink or smoke or do any drugs in church reguarly and I just cant find my equal (my queen)"

Answer : Well done to you but what are you looking for when you say your equal. Are you looking for somebody who doesn't drink or smoke too because to be honest i don't think that is too hard to come by, you just have to be patient. If you're not have any luck you may just have to compromise one of the factors you want. For example you may find someone who drinks but does not smoke and attends church reguarly or it could be the other way  round. So maybe you find out which ones are the most important to you and compromise just one of those factors. If you do not want to compromise, just pray on it and wait for the God to send you the right person 

Dilemma: "How can I make my girl love me more"
Answer: If you need to make somebody love you more, that person does not deserve you at all and it's just that simple ! If the person you're feeling does not love you for who you are and does not appreciate you for the little you already do for them then you need to bounce. To the left, to the left ! There too many females out here who will love you for you, trust me ! Just step back, focus on loving yourself and putting yourself first then the right person will come for you, trust me!

Dilemma: "Is it's a bad thing to want to always have sex with your partner then try not be satisfied"
Answer: I don't think it is a bad thing to always want to have sex as long as your partner is comfortable with it and as long as it is not the only thing you want from your partner. If you are sexually attracted to your partner this will always be the case. But if your partner is not too comfortable with having sex too much then maybe you substitute sex for something else sometimes like going on a date or something.

Sunday, October 6, 2019

I'm no longer hurt that you lied to me ...

Scream it louder for the people in the back ! I'm sure that this is usually the case in most situations. Okay i'm not saying that people are not hurt from being lied to but I am saying that after they are over the hurt of being lied to they then feel hurt from the fact that they can never trust again ! 

Let's talk about this ! Not all lies are heart breaking but there are some lies that can really make people have trust issues. Some people just do not understand that the lies they tell can have a major effect on a persons trust. 

It took me years to actually get over my trust issues and trust me when I say it was one of my biggest challenges yet ! Imagine putting all your trust into one person then finding out they've been lying to you throughout the whole relationship ! It hurts for real but what was even more painful was that I lost all the trust that I had in me...

I know the truth hurts but trust me when I say that lies hurt even more. People need to understand that honesty really is the best policy. No matter how much it hurts, telling the truth is the only solution that works.

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Thursday, October 3, 2019

Dilemma Thursdays !

Dilemma: "What do you do if a guy cheated on you with your friend and left you whiles pregnant and was telling you"
Answer: Some men are absolutely trash, I'm sorry to say.... The only solution for this is for you to leave him... He is the definition of pure trash sis, throw him out ! You do not need a man like this, trust me, he isn't worth ish.. Leave him to go do what he wants, karma will catch his ass real soon. I know it hurts because you loved him and you're pregnant right now, but trust me when I say, it will all be okay.. You will come out of this dark place! Just keep yourself distracted, do things that make you happy and stay focused on being in a good place for your child. Now with regards to your "friend" please just throw her in the trash too, that's where she belongs.. Cut off all ties and burn that bridge, you do not need a person like this in your life, believe that ! Stay Strong, sis.   

Dilemma : "My ex and I still love each other but he always hurts me in everything, I'm confuse"
Answer: The answer to your dilemma is in the question you asked. If he keeps on hurting you there's no need for you to be there. Love is not pain ! A person who loves you will not hurt you intentionally and that's just a fact... You need to move on from your ex, work on loving yourself and wait for the right person to find you. 

Dilemma: "My ex and I broke up and he started dating someone else now we live together"
Answer: I have never been soo confused in my life .... Hold my wig guys ! From reading this, i'm hoping that he started living with you after he left the girl that he was dating.If this is the case, it's quite simple, make it work if you guys really love each other. But sis, if he is living with you and still dating the girl, you've got to bounce the hell out of there because this is a situation-ship not a relationship. He either chooses you or chooses the other girl, you're not a second option or a side chick and make sure you don'e settle for either ! 

Dilemma: "How to trust my partner, I have trust issues"
Answer: Let me just say this, alot of us have this issue. If your partner is the cause of your trust issues, you either learn to trust him or you bounce. If your partner is not the cause of your trust issues, then you just have to take some time out and learn to trust again because if you stay in this relationship with these trust issues, you will lose this relationship for sure. Sometimes you just have to have faith that what you went through won't repeat itself and if it does you keep it moving.. You can never know for sure that your trust will not be broken again but do not allow it to stop you from falling in love.

Dilemma: "Found out i have a baby on the way few weeks ago, she's 14 weeks, but before she was pregnant she was saying she don't want a relationship.. & now that she is pregnant she's still saying the same thing " she don't wanna force a relationship cause the baby" witch is fine... but i'm trying hard yo like i want too be wit her.... should i just fall back? harder i try.. more she push me away" its like she hates me rn lol "sometimes i think it's hormones but i'm not sure"
Answer: All i can say with this is do not force it, if she doesn't want a relationship then you just have to let her be and when the child comes, be a father to the child and learn to co parent. Do not allow her to play games with your head, if she doesn't want a relationship she has to stick with that.. I can see that you're trying your best but sometimes you have to know when enough is enough. To be honest it could be hormones but boy oh boy if she was adamant before she was pregnant and is still adamant when she is pregnant, the hard truth may be; that she just doesn't want to be with you... But that's okay, just let her be, check in with her and help her with her pregnancy and take care of your child once your child is here. Fall back but do not fall back from your childs life. 

Dilemma: "I'm in a relationship with a celeb and I found out he just started dating another girl in another court"
Answer: The first thing i will say is, don't allow yourself to be treated badly all because he is a celebrity. Cheating is cheating whether it is by a broke boy or a rich boy ! If he is cheating on you, he doesn't respect you and that's just a fact ... He cannot get away with it soo easily because he is a celebrity.. If you really like the guy, give him an ultimatum, it's either you or the other girl.. If he chooses  you then he needs to show you that you can trust him again, let him work hard for that trust ! If he chooses  her then girl you know what you've got to do... skrrr skrr ..

Dilemma: "My girl and I have been through a lot and i'm in love with her. But she don't know if she wants me" 
Answer: If  she doesn't know if she wants you that's a red flag hunny. But don't cry and don't beg, give her time to take time out and figure out if it is you she wants to be with. You need to give her space and let her think about what is best for her. Whilst she is doing this, distract yourself, focus on you, do the things that make you happy.. If she chooses you then that's great, if she doesn't that's great too, don't allow it to have a massive impact on your growth and happiness...

Dilemma: "How do you handle it when your girlfriend thinks all you want from her is sex"
Answer: You've got to prove to her that this is not the case. Maybe have a week where you just show her she's special without having any sex.. This should definitely show her that you don't just want sex from her...

Dilemma: "Am inluv with someone bt when I talk about it he cover it up with other topic what should I do????"
Answer: He is obviously deflecting and avoiding this topic which could mean two things, he either doesn't love you back or he is shy.... I think you should meet him face to face and just say it to him straight and see how he responds. If he says he's in love with you too then that's perfect you can see where it goes but if he deflects and doesn't say he is in love with you then girl you have to let him go because the truth is he isn't quite feeling it. Study his actions and be honest with yourself.

Dilemma: "Posting pics together on social media vs not posting pics together on social media"
Answer: Posting pictures on social media used to be such a big deal, now it seems like it doesnt make much of a difference. You can post all the pictures you want on social media and there will still be problems within your relationship and that's the cold truth. Alot of people have even preferred to not show off their relationship in order to keep their relationship safe from evil eye. It just seems as though all the relationships on social media are breaking down these days. Maybe the saying a private life is a happy life is actually true when it comes to social media.

Dilemma: "My bf claim sexaddiction after i caught him sexting more than once. He on vacay rn &got tindr"
Answer: Listen girl this is a red flag. He won't stop doing it, in fact it will become worse because he will literally be out there feeding his addiction by sleeping with everybody. You really need to let go, I know it's easier said than done but honestly if you don't you will continue to live in misery. If he cannot fix his addiction bu maybe seeking therapy then you need to stop wasting your time.

Dilemma Thursdays take place every Thursday at 6pm
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Tuesday, October 1, 2019

Dear Ex

Now I personally wouldn't write a letter to any of my exes but if I was to write one a few years back, it would be this!  Let's be real honest here, a lot people want their exes to feel this way, they want their exes to literally recognize what they had, regret what they've lost and realize they aint ever getting them back. 

This is why a glow up is vital ! Once you're out of that relationship, take a second, work on yourself and glow the fck up so that the next time your ex sees you, all they feel is regret ! There's actually nothing wrong with wanting your ex to regret losing you, trust me.

The best kind of revenge on an ex that mistreated you or took you for granted is glowing up, trust me on this one. Glow up, let that ex see that you are way better without them, because that ish is painful AF!

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